Forgiveness is one of the most essential components to happiness and well being we can do for ourselves. Forgiveness of self is the most important of all, but any type of forgiveness can be one of the most transformational tools in a persons' life. Having trouble in an area of your life? Try asking yourself if there's someone you need to forgive. Do you need to forgive yourself?
The opposite of resentment is forgiveness. Resentment needs to be let go. This is not an easy thing to assimilate but the more we understand this, the better our life will get. The only person that resentment truly hurts is the one harboring it. I realize there are things that people experience that are horrible and unjust, but the truth is that when we resent and feel angry, we just relive the abuse and the wrong over and over again. This is a destroyer of all that is good.
Again, the opposite of resentment is forgiveness. I didn’t realize this until I started to think about how I could resolve resentment to create a better life. Resentment is the result of feeling wronged. It happens when we blame others and it is a reaction to circumstances we feel we didn’t deserve. Although bad things will happen to us, how we react or respond can make all the difference in the world. Yes we can feel the pain and anger but holding it and harboring it will only create a victim where there should be a victor. We must take responsibility for our part and then move on from there. That doesn’t mean blaming yourself. It means knowing that the event is in the past and thinking about it and ruminating over it will only attract more of the same and create sorrow, more anger and perhaps hatred and illness.
We can choose forgiveness or at the very least work towards it. There are many ways of doing this and some exercises I’m going to suggest to you. We can do our best to take control of our negative thoughts and feelings and redirect them in a positive light. We can find the good in the aftermath. Now I know if you have been through major trauma or are in a state of grief, this may not be possible for you … yet. It takes time to process the feeling and go through the stages but some of the internal work can set us on a path to a happier and healthier life.
One thing I have studied extensively and am even a certified practitioner in is the modality known as Ho'o Pono Pono. This is a very simple practice that gives great results. There is a long version which involves a small private ceremony or there is the simpler version which is just to use four simple phrases: I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me and thank you. How can you go wrong with that?!
Forgiveness is the most direct way to improve your sense of well being, your health, your relationships and your life in general.
Here are some links to help you on your path to forgiveness: